About a week and a half ago, something changed at day care. I don't know what. But O has been acting out much more than usual.

Last Wednesday night he came home with 5 plastic grocery bags, each of which contained urine-soaked clothes, including his shoes. Jon said they'd had a really bad day, that he needed a couple of time outs and that it'd been rough. Bad days happen, at home and at school, and as long as it's one bad day here and there it doesn't worry me much.

Thursday morning I dropped him off, and before I could ask for myself what had happened his teacher said (with a cheerful little laugh), "I know we're making a lot of laundry for you, mom, but we're making progress on potty training!" Which immediately shut down my ability to voice a concern, since my concern would obviously come from being lazy and not wanting to do laundry. Thursday was a short day, he had a doctor's appointment, and he still came home with two sets of dirty clothing.

Friday morning I walked in, said to the teacher available "I brought 3 pairs of rubber pants with his training pants, I want him to wear them all the time. If he's soaking himself to his shoes 4 times a day, he's not getting it and he needs the rubber pants." She nodded and agreed.

Friday went a little better. Monday seemed to go OK. Neither day was accident free, but it wasn't blow-out city either.

Tuesday night I picked him up and there were 4 more bags waiting for me. I went in to see the owner (by the time I can get there to pick him up his teachers are long gone), and explained both that I didn't think this was working, and that I didn't understand why they weren't using his rubber pants all the time. She promised to look into it.

We got home that evening and Otto had the mother of all meltdowns, ending with locking himself in the bathroom and wetting his pants. It took me 5 or 10 minutes to get him to calm down enough to let me touch him and help him change.

You can tell me that he's 3, and challenging, and willful and stubborn and all of that, and you would be right. It's his job right now. But his dad and I don't believe that public humiliation in the form of letting a child wet himself multiple times a day in front of his classmates is any way to teach. The end point is, he has to know when to use the bathroom by feeling the urge to go. If he can't do that yet, then this is all pointless. Which is when I really get upset.

I am, at the moment, a big raw walking nerve ending. Hormonally-challenged would be putting it nicely. Jon and I talked it over Tuesday night on the phone and agreed on what we wanted them to do, but I couldn't face going in to day care and talking to the "making me do laundry" teacher by myself. All I would've done is stand in the office sobbing, which is a great way to boost my authority and inspire confidence in my child. So I took the coward's way out and kept him home.

And yes, I'm also researching difference child care centers. We toured a Montessori place yesterday (interesting), and I'm trying to get in to see the center at a local university. Switching him immediately isn't practical, though, and I do believe in trying to work things through. If they'll listen to us and make some changes, things might turn out OK.

Today Jon dropped O off (I had an early drs appt), talked to the manager (who had already talked to the teacher on my behalf), and everyone has agreed to take a couple of weeks off the whole potty training thing. They've had him on their regimen for 9 months now, it's clearly not working, and I want them to back off long enough for us to figure something out ourselves.

I'd also like to know what changed last week and getting information has been difficult. We'll schedule a conference with the teacher and the owner in a week or so to talk things over. Maybe by then I'll be more coherent and less emotional. That would be nice!

In better news, it seems my thyroid is keeping up with the pregnancy just fine. Only one more visit with the endocrinologist before I deliver. It'll be nice to be back to annual visits, instead of every other month. I forgot about renewing my referral for this appointment until 3am on Wednesday morning, and of course you can't call for a referral at 3am. So I got up and wrote myself a big post it note and put it on my mirror, then laid sleeplessly in bed trying not to think about having to reschedule because I have swiss cheese for brains. Slotting into a specialist's schedule is like stuffing in that wafer-thin mint at the end of a huge meal. Thankfully my awesome drs office got it done in time and I was saved.

Comments

[Kirstin]

Oh sweetie! (You and Otto!) All I know to say is hang in there. You are doing the right thing for your kid (no matter what you decide) because you know him best. *Hugs*